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Archive for the ‘Family’ Category

Choose your own heirlooms

Posted in Family, Photographs, tagged , , , , on October 1, 2011| 3 Comments »

This is the last Wrangler jacket that my grandfather ever wore. (He bought a new one every year or two since, as you can see, he wore the threads off of them.) It was really the only thing I wanted after he died.

I have trouble picturing him in my head without a threadbare blue jacket.

Although he obviously took it off every once in a while.

It makes me happy to see it hanging in the closet. It makes me happier to slip it on, noting that it’s too big for me, but not THAT big, and sort of regretting that it’s so squeaky clean. (Historically, the blue denim jacket had any number of stains on it, mostly consisting of, but not necessarily limited to, mud and tractor grease.)

I think I love this jacket so much because it holds absolutely no value for most other people. It’s torn and faded, and offers little protection against the cold.

It offers nothing but memories.

Don’t let other people choose your heirlooms for you. You may be surprised how much the most ridiculous things will mean to you in the long run.

The lesson from my previous post was that you don’t necessarily have to hold on to things to hold on to memories. A refinement to that lesson: The fewer things from the past you hold on to, the more accessible memories will be.

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Keep the memories, lose the things

Posted in Family, Huntsville, Photographs, tagged , , , , , , on September 27, 2011| 6 Comments »

Some lessons bear repeating.

During a visit with my mom in August, I “rescued” an old jewelry box from her Goodwill bag. I really have no idea how long she’s owned it, but she’s had it for at least as long as she’s had me.

I had plans to do a little renovation (the top arch is hinged and is constantly falling over, which seems to be a constant reminder that it really doesn’t belong there) and maybe repaint the boring brown wood a more exciting color.

I embarked on my last semester of graduate school a week after I returned to Huntsville, and haven’t had time to give the jewelry box much thought.

It hit me last week: I don’t love this item. I love the memories associated with it. When I was growing up, it was a permanent accessory on Mom’s dresser, and each drawer held a different treasure. A tiny gold bracelet that belonged to me when I was a baby. A large, exotic cameo pin. Mom’s class ring.

It was a mysterious treasure chest filled with things I didn’t get to see every day.

Without those items, indeed, without those MOMENTS, it’s just a big wooden box. I don’t even have a good place to put it, much less things to put in it.

Higher purpose time: One of my favorite local animal rescue groups, A New Leash on Life, recently donated $10,000 to Huntsville’s low-income spay/neuter program. The organization’s thrift store, called Market Place, made this donation possible. People donating their gently used goods make the Market Place possible.

As for Mom, she would much rather see her jewelry box sold to help animals than for it to linger on my closet shelf.

And the lesson repeated? Don’t think you have to hold on to things to hold on to memories.

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Awesome old measuring cup finds a purpose

Posted in Family, Home, Photographs, tagged , , , , , , , on July 18, 2011| 4 Comments »

During the last few years of her life, my grandmother would open the china cabinet each time I visited and make me choose something to bring home with me. She always seemed amused when I chose small, weathered items over intricate crystal and silver.

This glass measuring cup made it home with me a few years ago. It’s got clear engraved markings and three pouring spouts.

I certainly did not need another measuring cup, but it’s got character. And judging by my husband, friends and decor, I LOVE character.

It’s been holding my inexplicable collection of dried cherry pits for the past four years. (Hint: Don’t ask.)

I recently had overnight guests, and both adults were coffee drinkers who took real sugar AND cream, thus giving me the opportunity to set out the sugar dish that totally matches my plates. I did not, alas, have a creamer container. (For that matter, I did not have any creamer, but there’s no reason I can’t serve my 2-percent milk all fancy.)

I did, however, have a charming little glass measuring cup. Voila. It was finally pressed into service for something besides pit storage.

Best of all, I now know why I brought it home.

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Your treasure is not my treasure

Posted in Family, Home, tagged , , , , , , , , , on May 17, 2011| Leave a Comment »

I had a total “ah-ha” moment this weekend. (OK, “ah-ha” wasn’t the phrase running through my head when the moment occurred, but let’s keep this family-friendly.)

My mom was showing me a vase that she had gotten from my grandmother’s house. It had belonged to my grandmother’s sister (or sister-in-law, maybe) and had been in my grandmother’s possession for decades after the original owner’s death. I had never seen this vase before, and it struck me as meh, valuable or not. I told my mom I wasn’t interested in it, and she was good with that — she’s learned the freedom of owning less stuff over the years, and respects my right to reject heirlooms.

The thought that ran through my head during the interchange, however, was, “Your treasure is not my treasure.” The thought wasn’t really aimed at my mom, since she’s not one to try to convince me to take things that I don’t want or need. I think it was aimed at the whole mindset people have that there are certain items that MUST be passed from generation to generation for eternity.

I’m not saying that we shouldn’t pass things down or treasure things from long ago. But we can’t keep everything.

It’s not a personal affront if I don’t want your collection of glass cake plates; it’s just that my favorite cake plate happens to be a weathered old aluminum model with more character than elegance. (Autobiographical cake plate FTW.)

Back to the vase in question: I had never seen it before. Meaning that my grandmother kept it, but didn’t treasure it enough to display it. Therefore, I have no memories associated with this vase. It’s simply an object that I don’t find that attractive. I feel no urge to take it home simply because it belonged to someone I’m related to.

I have plenty of things from my grandparents’ home that mean A LOT to me. A collapsible aluminum cup that my grandfather brought back from World War II. A pair of funky cat bookends from the middle bedroom. An old, golden glass piggy bank that my brother and I spent dozens of hours playing with, poking coins in and then shaking them out.

These things are my treasures.

There are people who would have their children fill their closets and attics with heirlooms, simply to keep those items “in the family.” Don’t do that. Let your children choose their treasures. To facilitate that, choose YOUR treasures. The things you value, not the things you stuff into the attic and the basement, will be the things they actually want later.

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Dress your children in florals and plaid

Posted in Family, tagged , , , , on April 23, 2011| 2 Comments »

Ah, the Easters of yesteryear, when parents dressed and primped their children for church like prize hogs at the county fair.

I recall that this dress was not as itchy as other Easter dresses I was subjected to.

I still think that a plaid vest calls for a bow tie, whether you’re a toddler, a time lord or a literature professor.

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Cocoa, defender of the Crows

Posted in Family, tagged , , , , , , on April 22, 2011| Leave a Comment »

This is Cocoa. Just looking at her, you wouldn’t guess that she scared the Easter bunny away one year.

My brother and I woke up early that Sunday morning, expecting to find full Easter baskets on the dining room table and undoubtedly making plans to skirt the no-candy-before-breakfast rule. Alas, there were no full baskets. There were no baskets at all.

I don’t remember if we woke Mom up or if she stumbled out of the bedroom around the same time, but I do know that she thought pretty quickly for somebody who had just woken up. She immediately shuffled us back into a bedroom, explaining that Cocoa had barked at the Easter bunny and he was afraid to come in, but was waiting outside.

Five minutes later, we were released to find our baskets filled with candy.

I don’t remember if I bought the story — at one point I started having doubts about such things but didn’t let on because, hey, free candy. I do remember that we weren’t mad at Cocoa; instead, we were a little proud.

Hell YEAH the Easter bunny was scared of our dog.

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Days of Our Lives

Posted in Family, tagged , on April 14, 2011| Leave a Comment »

Two people, working at home, in offices that are side by side. One likes to have a ham sandwich during a quiet, thoughtful lunch, while the other likes to surf the waves of Internet hilarity while dutifully downing leftovers.

They take turns playing butler for the resident cat.

Will it work?

Doesn’t it have to?

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Great unexpectations

Posted in Family, tagged , , , , , , , , on April 13, 2011| 1 Comment »

When I was in first grade, I spent almost the entire school year battling recurring bouts of strep throat.

I don’t know how much effort anyone put into researching the cause of these continual infections (paging Dr. House); all I remember is going back to the doctor again and again to have my throat swabbed and get another round of pink, icky-sweet, chalky liquid antibiotic.

The source of the strep bacteria was revealed after school let out for the summer: When my teacher underwent some pre-surgery blood tests, she discovered that she was carrying the bacteria. No symptoms. No clues, except for one otherwise healthy little girl missing a lot of school — and not being altogether that unhappy about missing school.

I still attribute the ultimate demise of my tonsils to this epic battle with the strep bacteria. (And I don’t hold a grudge against Mrs. Buffington. I DO hold a grudge against the series of doctors who, over the next 14 years, refused to consider taking my tonsils out as they slowly rotted away.)

You obviously can’t launch a full-fledged medical investigation of everyone your child comes into contact with (although, again, Dr. House seems to get away with such antics quite frequently), but the link seems obvious now. I don’t even know that anyone could make the connection today — although I do imagine that such a discovery today would involve litigation.

No matter how careful you are, or how protective you are of your children and loved ones, there’s always one thing that you don’t see coming. Expect the unexpected. And insist that the tonsils come out NOW.

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As Pictured Below: I’m on a cow

Posted in As Pictured Below, Family, tagged , , , , , , on April 12, 2011| 5 Comments »

Just another day riding around on barnyard animals (avec supervision — if you look closely, you can see my grandfather’s boots below the cow’s belly as he hides from the camera).

Best childhood ever? You tell me.

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As Pictured Below: Spider-Man and his trusty sidesnake

Posted in As Pictured Below, Family, tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , on April 6, 2011| 2 Comments »

Why is Spider-Man holding a snake, you might ask?

Because the 1970s made NO SENSE, I would reply. Of all the things that we might do at the fair, my brother and I chose to sit on a bench with a guy dressed as Spider-Man holding a snake.

Also note that while I had just overcome a crippling fear of goats that came about after a tragic misreading of Three Billy Goats Gruff, I apparently had no fear of snakes AT ALL.

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