Posts Tagged ‘accident’

I almost fainted one night this week after bending my injured elbow. According to my husband, Bill, aka Mr. Science, bending it may have released some toxins that had been stored up, toxins that went coursing through my bloodstream with malicious intent. It certainly wasn’t the blood-and-guts factor, or I would have passed out while bleeding on fancy towels.

Whatever the reason, as the gray cloud crept in from the outskirts of my vision and I slowly and safely dropped to the bathroom floor, I realized the depths of my Southern upbringing. All I could think of was the saying, “I think I’m getting a case of the vapors,” a most hilarious sentiment, and one that would have had me giggling on the floor had the crippling nausea not overtaken me.

I was fine a few minutes later, thanks to patience and a few sips of Coca-Cola. The dizziness retreated, and my Seinfeld-like eight-year record of not throwing up remains intact.

My inner Southern belle is relieved.

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If you’re not the type of person who enjoys being the center of attention, then I have to advise you not to slip and fall like a cartoon character on the pool deck of a four-star hotel in Las Vegas.

I do hate to be fussed over. So standing around in bikini, half wrapped in a towel and bleeding on a couple of other expensive towels while waiting for the hotel’s EMT, was not the start of a grand Thanksgiving morning or a fantastic end to an anniversary celebration. Three hours and seven stitches later, though, I was back on vacation.

Kudos to the lady behind the towel counter, who didn’t freak out when I started bleeding on her fancy linens. Also kudos to the hotel EMT, who hastily applied a butterfly bandage to my gaping elbow laceration and sent me to the nearest doc-in-a-box for further repair.

Most of all, special thanks to my husband, who despite being way freaked out and worried about me, actually mopped up a little pool of blood when I asked him to (I hated to freak out the other guests). Later, after witnessing my one-handed eating efforts (can’t bend your arm with elbow stitches), he cut up my turkey for me. You can’t buy an anniversary gift like that.

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